AUTHENTICITY VS BELONGING… SCORPIO FULL MOON VIBES!

I once consulted with a photographer whom after looking at my headshots told me that they needed to be a little more ‘street’. When I first heard that, I felt as the most uncool person ever.

Now, mind you, the photographer guy who said this to me was someone whose visibly privileged New Hampshire upbringing matched perfectly his whiteness and vibe. Nonetheless, he was dressed in full ‘street’ garb—hyper expensive sneakers, baseball cap, designer jeans, and t-shirt; he checked all the boxes, so much so that his ‘street’ look kind of just looked forced.

It took me a while to decipher the quizzical feeling his comment had left me with. “Be more street”. Why? Was it because I am Latinx and as such, I am expected to have a particular look, or a certain style? Or was it because being ‘street’ is what’s cool, what’s rad, the trend of our times? It was off-putting to be told I wasn’t cool enough, which is how I interpreted his comment. But as it simmered in my mind I went back in time to reflect on my non-street upbringing.

I grew up in Colombia during the 90’s, when the War on Drugs brought a lot of violence to that part of the world. When I was very young, maybe 5 years-old, my mom went to visit the most well regarded Medium in the city, a woman whose advise was sought after by very powerful people in the country. There was even a rumor about top cartel lords who, at the time were pretty much ruling the world, consulting with this woman. (If you are the rare person who doesn’t know what I am talking about, good for you! You have been spared from the devastating and asphyxiating narco-novela narrative that keeps popping up on mainstream media. You now have the opportunity to learn about the subject from a survivor of the horrendous War on Drugs, if you choose, and you can be sure to get many vivid facts, as all this took place just over a couple of decades ago; the wound is still open and way too fresh to have been exploited for show-business, imo. Or, you can do like the rest of humanity and watch Narcos on Netflix. I’m not recommending it; I don’t know if it’s good or bad. I didn’t dare watch the made-for-entertainment portrait of the narco-culture that painted my childhood blood red.)

Of all the things the Medium might have said to my mom, the one that is relevant to this particular story I am telling right now is that she predicted I had a very high probability of being run over by a car. From my knowledge as a Tarot reader and Transformational Guide, I can tell you this, if someone ever gives you a predictive reading of anything, RUN! Noone can predict your future, and you have free will to do with your life as you wish. 

I believe this woman was actually reading the trauma my mother suffered when she was ran over by a car in her early 20s. This type of scar, beyond its physical manifestation, tends to leave an even deeper mark in the psyche of the individual, something that any person who is attuned and sensitive to energies can easily detect. 

Nonetheless, the spell was cast on little me, and from that moment on my ‘street’ days were over. Not that they ever really began, though I did have a couple of friends who lived at the opposite end of the block and who I had started visiting for some play dates, but after the prediction happened, they came to visit me at my house only.

And so, my full-fledged domesticated life commenced. 

I created all sorts of worlds within the structure of my house. The big library that my dad had built helped a lot, too, and the many pets we lived with, became true friends and allies in all my indoor adventures. Not that I didn’t have real, human friends. In fact, I can say I had a pretty healthy social life which happened only within the boundaries of the school grounds and within the homes of my friends whenever playdates where arranged. But no ‘street’.

This, in addition to the fact that street life became quite dangerous during a decade when shootings and bomb explosions were common events, made me find a lot of peace and joy in domestic bliss.

So, yeah, I am not ‘street,’ that’s true. I probably don’t quite fit in with the aesthetics of coolness of these days but, what can I say? I just naturally gravitate more toward Martha Stewart vibes like cooking and making my home beautiful like a living vision board for me to dwell in. And this is, actually, very much my dharma! With my North Node in Cancer, of which I speak about in this post, I am called to nourish, to care, to create home, to delight in my inner world (physical and psychological).

Has there been a moment in your life when you put on a façade in order to belong? I know I have, SO many times before, and now, even as I am much more aware about how detrimental it is to people-please, it’s very tempting to fall in the trap. With social media, for instance, we all want to be relevant and ‘liked’ so, it’s very easy to want to post stuff that shows what others want to see from you, and not really anything that is authentically YOU. And it’s devastating for the self-esteem, and mortifying for the soul.

This full moon in Scorpio invites us to shine light on our authentic selves; that part of us that perhaps is not so glamorous, nor will it garner us new followers and likes. But this is the part of ourselves that make us YOUnique, special, inimitable, and maybe not influencer material, but AH, SO refreshingly TRUE!

Go ahead, share your not so glamorous, fashionable side. Let’s debunk this idea that we all have to fit in, in order to belong. You, me, WE belong here on this Earth simply because we exist. Let’s celebrate that!